So anybody who saw Sunday’s Battleground pay-per-view will be able to tell you that it was bad. It’s made all the worse by the fact that last year’s equivalent was probably the best “B-show” of the year (Meaning it wasn’t WrestleMania, SummerSlam, Survivor Series, or the Royal Rumble). WhatCulture already wrote a lovely article about the obvious stuff so I’m going to stay away from, “Oh, the Punjabi Prison is impossible to see into, and there’s strange racial implications,” and whatever. Other people have said it already and said it better. Instead, I want to talk about Battleground as a signpost of something very simple:
The company continues to stay the course.
Continue reading Scott Talks Wrestling: Battleground Was Worse Than You Thought
Internet, I’m going to level with you: In the last two weeks I’ve watched a ton of good movies. I saw John Wick Chapter 2, I saw Green Room, which is an excellent indie horror film on Netflix, and I saw The Great Wall, which at the very least was gorgeous.
I also saw the Fifty Shades sequel.Continue reading Scott Reads Terrible Erotica: “Fifty Shades Darker”
Dear readers, I haven’t quite told you the whole story of the movie marathon my girlfriend and I had back in December. See, it’s true that we agreed to sit down and watch all five Twilight films at once, but the initial plan was to drink our way through them so that by the end we would be reduced to sad, broken, pathetic shells of our former selves. We were going to film it, and it was going to go up on Low Five’s website as a YouTube series rather than these articles.
Of course, no erosion of the human spirit could possibly be complete without a viewing of Fifty Shades of Grey.
“It started off as Twilight fanfiction,” we reasoned, “And it’s supposed to be pretty bad. We’re kind of obligated to include it. It’ll be funny.”
Oh past Scott, you sweet summer child.Continue reading Scott Reads Terrible Erotica: “Fifty Shades of Grey”
(Be sure to read Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here.)
Well audience, we did it.
Well, I did it. I watched all five Twilight movies. None of you suffered as I have suffered. In fact, you’ve all been profiting from my suffering, so shame on you.
But regardless, we’re finally here at the thrilling conclusion of the Twilight Saga. Bella’s a vampire, she’s married, basically everyone mad at them is dead, Jacob loves a baby, what more is there to cover in this series?
No, seriously, what more is there to cover.Continue reading Scott Reads Terrible Erotica: “Breaking Dawn Part 2”
Happy New Year, everyone! For those of you not in the know, I’ve been writing about Twilight movie marathon that my girlfriend and I had just before Christmas. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here. Today marks the start of the epic conclusion, the day that we tackle Breaking Dawn Part 1 in all of its sparkly glory.
As with every popular fantasy literary adaptation in the last seven years, the epic Twilight saga’s final book was split into two movies. After Harry Potter, movie executives looked upon the giant mound of gold coins that was Deathly Hallows Part 2 and went, “Wait…we can do that?!” That being said, unlike most movie series that have finished with a two-parter, I can tell you confidently that Breaking Dawn does not have enough going on to justify two movies. Here we go.Continue reading Scott Reads Terrible Erotica: “Breaking Dawn Part 1”
So in last week’s article I mentioned that I had recently sat down and watched all five Twilight films in a single sitting because, “Ha ha, wouldn’t it be funny to do that for Low Five.” One traumatizing fourteen hour experience later, and here we are. Without further ado, let’s talk about the middle chunk of the saga, New Moon and Eclipse.Continue reading Scott Reads Terrible Erotica: “New Moon” and “Eclipse”